Welcome to Indulgence Gospel After Dark!
We are Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay, and it's time for your December Extra Butter episode.

Today we've got a couple of rants and answers to your listener questions. On the agenda:

⭐️ The tyranny of School Spirit Weeks — especially during the holiday season!

⭐️ How it feels to date another fat person 👀🔥

⭐️ How we're surviving — even thriving? — this Ozempic Season.

To hear the whole thing, read the full transcript, and join us in the comments, you do need to be an Extra Butter subscriber.

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Episode 222 Transcript

Virginia

Okay, before we dive in, I have a quick rant, which I think the moms listening are really going to feel me on. I would like, Corinne, to quickly rant about school spirit weeks. Because they're really breaking me a little bit this year. Do you know what school spirit weeks are like?

Corinne

Well, I saw this on our agenda, and I was like, wait, what grade is your oldest child in?

Virginia

She's in seventh grade. 

Corinne

Okay, that is too young for school spirit weeks. 

Virginia

Ohhh Corinne. Corinne. Sweet summer child. School spirit weeks start in preschool. I've been doing this the entire time I've had a child attending any sort of school.

Corinne

But that's the whole thing! That’s more work for parents.

Virginia

Correct. School spirit weeks predate a child's cognitive ability to have school spirit.

Corinne

That's not fair! Then who is it for? That makes it seem like it's for the teachers. Not that teachers don't deserve to have joyful spirit filled weeks.

Virginia

Sure, sure, I always want to appreciate the teachers. I don't know that the teachers enjoy it that much either though.

Corinne

Who is setting this up?The PTA or something?

Virginia

The PTA sets up some of them. Part of the problem in my own school community, is that school spirit weeks come from several different factions, and they don't appear to have ever coordinated their calendars. The elementary student council runs one, so it's a bunch of fifth graders organizing it. So they're jazzed for it! But they're expecting pre-K through fifth grade to participate, which doesn't make sense because the younger kids can't do it themselves. And then the week after they do theirs, we have Red Ribbon Week, which is a drug awareness thing. So there are themes like "it's no sweat to say no to drugs" so wear your sweatpants. 

Corinne

Umm, okay.

Virginia

Because I'm sure wearing sweatpants as children completely prevented both of us from ever trying any drugs of any kind.

Corinne

I was really thinking I could come up with some great themes for that week. But I shall say nothing more of that here. Not for fifth grade.

Virginia

So the high school does their own thing. The middle school and elementary school are sometimes synced up, but sometimes they're not. Sometimes both my children have a random pajama day, but sometimes only one. They just come at us. Holiday spirit week is coming up this month, but they can't be too "it's Christmas" because they're trying to be non-denominational. But it'll be like, "wear your winter hats!" "wear something with snow on it!"

Corinne

Oh my gosh. Are your kids into it?

Virginia

I am fortunate that my kids historically only care about the day they can wear pajamas to school. Of all the themes of the week, that's usually the only one they're really like, "I want pajama day." And if they're allowed to bring a stuffy to school.

But I should also note that we may re-up this rant in June because for the final 26 days of the school year, my school does something called the ABC Countdown, where every day is a letter theme, and it's like "B is for beach day, bring your beach towel to school."

Corinne

What?!?

Virginia

It's like all counting down to the end of the year?

Corinne

Why are we making school harder? I don't think I ever participated in a Spirit Day, I will say.

Virginia

 I do remember Crazy Hat Day being something I was very passionate about in middle school.

Corinne

That does sound like something you would be passionate about.

Virginia

But when they are like, "wear sports team stuff," we don't support sports teams, you know? Despite my recent foray into football, I'm not going to get either my children in an Eagles jersey. That's a non-starter.

I don't know sometimes they're low lifts, but even when they're low lifts, it's another thing to remember. And I have so many things in my brain at all times related to my children. I don't need another thing to remember.

I also do think, depending on the district and the depending the way it's executed, spirit weeks can be really ableist and classist. There is often pressure to buy special things. If it's a crazy sweater day and you don't happen to be a family that owns a whimsical Christmas sweater, what are you supposed to do? Go buy your kids something?

Not to sound like a Scrooge, because this is a December episode, but I'm coming out against all school spirit, period, as a concept, at the moment.

Corinne

As a child-free person, I'm with you. I would not be participating. 

Virginia

Mine mostly don't care. So we mostly opt out. But every now and then, there's this last minute, suddenly caring about it and it's so much pressure. So I'm opening the floor up to the listeners on this one. I'm sure there are people who would like to share their own rants. And teachers, I want to know, do you hate it, too? Is it making your job better? In which case I will try harder to participate, because I want your job to be better. 

Corinne

I mean, I'm just imagining having 20 kids at the end of the school year with beach towels. It doesn't sound like it would make teaching easier.

Virginia

And that's just B day. You've got 24 more to go.

Corinne

I'm sure 50 percent of kids lose their towels. 

Virginia

What do they even do with the towels once they get to school? It's never been made clear. 

Well, that's my rant about school spirit week. Now I have one more topic for us to get into before we go to listener questions. I have been struggling with a lot of getting dressed anxiety recently. It seems to have upticked for me. Do you go through periods where it is harder to figure out what to wear than others? How would you say it ebbs and flows for you?

Corinne

I want to say yes. I feel like there are a few different factors. I think one factor for me, and I assume probably for you, it's usually centered around social events, or if I have to leave the house. 

Virginia

The worst.

Corinne

And then the other thing is if I just don't have anything comfortable to wear.

Virginia

Pants in particular. If the pants are not comfortable, God, it's just the worst. How are you going to make it through the day? 

Corinne

One thing I've really been leaning into—which is probably a controversial thing to say, as someone who makes part of their living writing about clothes—I've really been leaning into sweatpants.

Virginia

Because we're trying to be drug free, obviously, for Red Ribbon Week.

Corinne

What even what was that? Sweat? No sweat to say no to drugs? It doesn't even make sense.

Virginia

It's actually quite sweaty to say no to drugs sometimes.

Corinne

I've been leaning into wearing sweatpants out of the house. I have some of the elastic ankle Old Navy sweatpants. And I did Google how do you make sweatpants look less like you're wearing sweatpants?

Virginia

Oh, and what did you learn? Because this is what I've been working on, too. 

Corinne

I looked at a lot of pictures. One direction you could go is wearing a button down shirt with sweatpants, so you're kind of fancy on top, sweatpants on the bottom. I've seen some fancier shoes with sweatpants. Like a loafer or something. 

Virginia

Oh, interesting. I hadn't thought about that. 

Corinne

Another direction people go is full athleisure. Like, matching sweatshirt, make it a set. I also saw a lot of people wear